January 30: Feeling Old, Feeling Tired, Feeling Sad

Don't laugh.  This is what I look like in the morning.

Tonight, I'm feeling old.  When I got home, my wife greeted me at the door, saying, "His books are all over the floor, the bed isn't made, and there's dishes in the sink."  And, indeed, my son had scattered his books across the living room floor, our bed wasn't made, and there was a pile of dirty dishes waiting to be washed.  I didn't have the energy to deal with it.

Because, along with feeling old, I'm feeling pretty tired, as well.  My energy reserves are dangerously low.  If I were a laptop computer, my battery light would be blinking, and I'd be backing up my files.  I had to work up the gumption to get my three-year-old into the bathtub.  It didn't help matters that he didn't want to take a bath.  Therefore, he spent the entire bath kicking his feet and dousing my shirt.  I was quite moist by the time the experience was complete.

Now, I'm just sitting in my office, waiting for my daughter to get done with her dance class.  I think, because of my aforementioned feelings of age and exhaustion, my mood is decidedly in the crapper.  I paid some big bills this afternoon (mortgage and whatnot), and I came up a few dollars short.  If anything can kill the joy of my day, it's paying bills with money I don't have.

This evening, I'm going to try to talk and do as little as possible.  I already had a battle with my toddler son.  I really don't want to quarrel with my wife or daughter.  Silence seems like the best option for the rest of the night. 

Don't worry.  Saint Marty hasn't lost his Christmas spirit.  He's just misplaced it for a little while.