Tuesday, February 28, 2012

February 28: Return of the NB

Those of my disciples who have been with me since the beginning of Saint Marty may remember a recurring character I called Nasty Bitch (NB for short).  NB was a family member who was...Well, I think the name says it all.  For a long while, she was unaccountably cruel to my wife and me.  She made Lent a couple years ago a true test of forgiveness.

Well, NB is at it again.  A couple days ago, I promised to post a picture of myself with the Oscar trophy I won at the Oscar party Sunday night.  Well, I haven't been able to post that picture.  The reason I haven't been able to post that picture is that NB, who was one of the co-winners of the statuette last year, refuses to relinquish it to me.  Yes, NB is turning a usually friendly competition into a mean-spirited fight.  Earlier this evening, I was hugely pissed.  Now that I've had some time to cool down and think about it, I'm still hugely pissed.

NB exists to make people miserable.  She's still a very unhappy person.  She has tons of money, but lives like a pauper, making people miserable.  She could travel, but prefers to sit in the living room in her pajamas watching Lifetime movies, making people miserable.  She could afford a new car, but drives a minivan that is held together by wire, paperclips, and spit, making people miserable.

I think you get the idea.  Now, her newest form of miserable is this horseshit with the Oscar statue.  I wouldn't let it boether me so much, but winning on Sunday night really made me feel happy.  I haven't had a whole lot to be completely happy about recently.  Now, NB has fucked that up for me.

It's late, and I'm tired of being pissed.  I'm not going to let this problem go.  I'm just going to let it go to sleep for a few hours.

When Saint Marty wakes up in the morning, he will start planning his revenge on NB.
Vengeance is mine!!  It's mine, I tell you.

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